Consider This...: February 2010

In September of 2009 the Australian Broadcasting Company (ABC) broadcast a report concerning adoptions in Ethiopia entitled, "Fly Away Children." In it, the reporters assert that unethical adoption practices are taking place in Ethiopia, and they specifically name Christian World Adoption as an agency with questionable practices. In response to that broadcast, CWA attorney Curtis Bostic gave a full interview with a reporter from ABC to answer any questions that ABC raised concerning the practices of CWA. This interview was video taped and shared with the world via YouTube.

Adding to my concern, CBS aired a piece about potentially unethical adoption practices in Ethiopia just this week. In the piece they specifically singled out CWA. I believe that the video series that addresses the allegations from the ABC broadcast also clarifies the issues brought forth in the CBS piece. I have included the link for the interview video series below for anyone who is interested in watching. I strongly encourage people to watch the interviews, in full, before jumping to any conclusions based on the Australian Broadcast Company or CBS pieces.

http://www.youtube.com/user/ChristianWorldAdopt

I am fully aware that we live in a world where people have hidden motives, are self-serving, and have a "whatever it takes" attitude. So, I watched the eight-part video series in an effort to see, based on my knowledge of international adoption and my experience as an adoptive parent with CWA's programs in Guatemala, Ethiopia, and China, whether or not the attorney had explanations and documentation to shed light on the assumptions brought forth in both the ABC broadcast and the CBS piece. After viewing the complete series, I have full faith that CWA has and will continue to act with integrity regarding adoptions in Ethiopia.

Several thoughts I have had concerning the allegations put forth by either "news" piece are these:

1. The idea that a fully accredited, non-profit agency would pay parents to place their older children for adoption makes no sense at all. There are an estimated 5 million children who are currently deemed by the Ethiopian government to be orphans at present. In truth, only about 3,000 adoptions were made of Ethiopian children in 2009 by U.S. citizens. There is absolutely no reason for an agency to "harvest" children to adopt in Ethiopia. There are many more orphans in Ethiopia than CWA, or any other agency, could even begin to place. Another reason this assertion seems crazy centers around the fact that if an agency or individual were to "harvest" children for adoption, it would only make sense that they would be seeking infants, not older children, since families primarily request to adopt babies. Also, it is a known fact that sibling groups are much, much more difficult to place into families than individual children. Would an agency that is held in high esteem within adoption circles risk its twenty year operation to"harvest" for adoption a sibling group comprised of older children when those children are often very difficult to place into families? Uh, no... What I saw in the CBS piece were three beautiful girls who seemed confused. Even amongst themselves, their stories did not line up. What I found most curious was that CBS aired "recent" footage of the girls biological father alive and well, but they neglected to show an interview of him concerning the allegation that he "sold" his children. Now, I'm not a reporter, but if I were...I certainly would seek an interview with the biological father to corroborate the girl's story. Not CBS!

2. In both "news" pieces it was stated that the children in question were "not really orphans" because they have one or more living parents. WHAT?!?!? Here in the United States we allow parents to place their children for adoption daily. The parents do not have to be deceased. They have to be unable or unwilling to care for their children. I do not say that in such a way as to assume that biological parents who place their children for adoption do not care about their children. On the contrary, many parents opt to place their children for adoption because they "want a better life" for their child or they are simply unable to provide for the basic needs of their children. We see nothing wrong with this practice in the United States, however, it seems that some people would say that it is wrong for this to happen in other countries.

In Ethiopia, many families are affected by HIV/AIDS, extreme poverty, and other conditions that the majority of us are completely unfamiliar with. Unlike most Americans that I know, a large number of Ethiopians are forced to focus on basic survival. I understand that circumstances, in many cases, are extremely dire for parents to choose to relinquish their parental rights by placing their children for adoption.

In addition, it is the Ethiopian government that determines which children are orphans and which children are not. No agency or individual based in the United States gets to determine whether or not a child is an orphan. The agency's job is to pair government-deemed orphans with caring, capable families who desire to adopt, and, in fact, proof of the child's legal orphan status is required by the U.S. government before an international adoption can take place. In order to travel back to the United States with a foreign-born child, significant paperwork must be completed and approved by both governments as well.

3. If CWA or the independent contractor, shown in the broadcast talking to families of a particular village telling them of their option to place their children for adoption, were participating in unethical adoption practices, why would they allow ABC to follow them around and tape the happenings? The broadcast showed no offer of payment or other services given to the birthparents. The attorney addressed the very specific instance shown in the broadcasts when speaking with the reporter from ABC in the video interview.

4. In my experience with the adoption process in Ethiopia, I have received information about the Ethiopian government halting court dates to seek further documentation to ensure that their adoptions are ethical. I have seen them lengthen the wait times for families to receive referrals while further documentation is gathered. There is even conversation about Ethiopia becoming a two-trip country. While adoptions from Ethiopia happen rather quickly in comparison to some other countries, from start to finish the length of the process in Ethiopia is currently 12 months or more.

I have no knowledge of the two families who were pictured in the "news" pieces besides what is shown in those "news" pieces, but from that information I can say that the adoptions pictured in the broadcasts were not quick, secret exchanges happening "somewhere" in Ethiopia...they are adoptions that are documented and regulated by both the Ethiopian government and the United States government. CWA has files on these cases, but due to confidentiality agreements, is unable to discuss individual cases with the media. That confidentiality is for the benefit of the client, not the agency. It is the same confidentiality that we are afforded in this country by our medical professionals to protect our privacy. In addition to these facts, it is difficult for me to believe that it is the practice of the Ethiopian government to allow their children to be "sold". If that were the case, why would they have in place measures to ensure ethical adoptions which consistently slow down the adoption process?

5. I believe that CWA was wrongly accused of a number of things. Let's be honest, many people go into an adoption expecting a beautiful, perfectly healthy child...literally. They may even request a beautiful, perfectly healthy child. As adoptive parents, we can make those requests. However, I have personally read and reread the contracts and paperwork given to and signed by adoptive parents by CWA. What the attorney explains in the video series is 100% correct. CWA has been and continues to be careful to explain to adoptive parents that medical recording in other countries is different than in the U.S, and that there are no guarantees of health (excluding HIV testing). Because of this, parents are encouraged by CWA to have medical information that is released to them in a child's referral examined by a doctor with specialization dealing in the medical needs of internationally adopted children before the referral is accepted by the parent.

As a parent, I will admit that no one wants to see their child struggle through any number of medical problems that "could" be present, and no parent wants to suffer the heartache that is associated. I believe that adoption and pregnancy are very similar in this respect. When I was pregnant, I was unsure concerning the state of my child's medical health until he was born. Until I could see him and have him thoroughly examined by our trusted physician, my knowledge of his health was somewhat uncertain. When we adopted John Isaac, we received some medical information at the point of referral, but until I could hold him...count his fingers and toes...present him to Dr. Yeiser for a thorough examination...I wasn't "sure" concerning the state of his medical health. Given those two sets of uncertainty, I can tell you that in either example, the child is my son. I have committed myself to him...to love him, protect him, care for his medical needs...whatever they are. Whether or not my son developed in my uterus, this truth is sure, from the first time I held him until the day that I am no longer breathing, my commitment is unconditional. John Isaac was diagnosed with a seizure disorder after he was home from Guatemala, but, not once, did I feel as though the agency was responsible or that they mislead us in any way. In fact, I praise the Lord that John Isaac is my son, and that because he is my son he was able to receive medication to treat his seizures. Those medical treatments would not only have been unaffordable in Guatemala, but they, in all probability, would not have been available.

Specifically in Ethiopia, the issue of undocumented births was fully disclosed to us. Doctors in Ethiopia make age assessments as best they can, however, I can imagine that determining a child's age can be extremely difficult when there are few birth records and growth for many of the children is stunted by malnutrition. In addition, the physician to patient ratio in Ethiopia is estimated to be 3:100,000...yes, you read that correctly! The medical records there are not as thorough as those in the United States, and that is a fact that is FULLY disclosed to potential adoptive parents by CWA. Adoptive parents must choose for themselves whether or not they are willing to take on the risk that is associated.

The orphans in Ethiopia live in a world that, for the vast majority of Americans, is unimaginable. I have yet to see CBS air any stories of families who have adopted from Ethiopia, through CWA or other credible agencies, explaining the beauty and love that is shared when impoverished children become part of a forever family. I know some families they could interview. I don't think CBS would be interested. Those stories are not nearly sensational enough for the evening news.

On a side note, the broadcast put forth by ABC highlights a sad fact. Unfortunately, there is a group of people, including educated journalists, who think adopting outside of your race/nationality is wrong. Those who disapprove usually couch their argument in terms of culture and heritage, which truly have many aspects worth preserving. However, with the staggering number of orphaned children in Ethiopia, quite practically what I hear those people saying is that they would rather an Ethiopian child die in the streets than be adopted by a white family...all in the name of cultural preservation. Perhaps they believe that Chinese orphans should be forced to grow up in orphanages instead of being adopted by citizens with cream or brown colored skin in the United States. Isn't that terribly cruel?

To my complete horror, I have seen adoption of international children called the "modern slave trade" by its critics. I have heard critics of international adoption ask adoptive parents why they aren't willing to send the $15,000-$20,000 estimated in adoption costs to Ethiopia in an effort to keep families together. Keeping families together is truly a worthy cause. However, say you were to multiply the high end estimate of $20,000 per adoption from Ethiopia by the approximated 3,000 adoptions from Ethiopia by U.S. citizens in 2009, you would end up with $60 million dollars. That sounds to me like a large amount of money, but, if you were to use those funds in efforts to keep families together...if you were to divide them among the 5 million orphans in Ethiopia, we're talking about $12 per year per child. The orphan crisis in Ethiopia and other countries is truly heartbreaking. I believe that any reasonable person can see that $12 per child per year will hardly solve this issue. In addition to funds needed to overcome poverty, there is the issue of managing and treating disease. Clearly, these funds would not be anywhere near enough.

So, adoptive parents do what we can. Perhaps critics of international adoption can share with me which organizations they donate thousands of dollars to in efforts to keep families together in Ethiopia, China, and other countries. It may be that those critics are donating large sums to programs designed to keep families together in the U.S., but, for some reason, I seriously doubt it.

When considering the 143 million plus children in our world who are orphans, I recognize that adoption only becomes a possibility for a small number of children. Adoption provides hope and a future for those that it touches an overwhelming majority of the time. The alternative, that opponents to international adoption present, leaves orphaned children without families...a place that must be scary, hopeless, and uncertain. I must be honest. I don't see leaving those children in orphanages and on the street to be in their best interest, and I find racism, disguised as cultural sensitivity, truly heartbreaking.

We moved into our home several months ago. During this time, John and I decided that our two oldest children were ready for real big boy beds. My first concern was that the beds would be safe, not too high off of the ground. I have wiggly boys, and these were to be their first beds without rails. My second concern was bed clothes. I told John that I really wanted to find a quilt or blanket to serve as a bedspread that they could use for a long time. I wanted one that was colorful, but not themed. I wanted to be able to change the accessories in the room to whatever the boys like as they grow without having to change their bedspread.

I looked online at Penney's, Pottery Barn Kids, and Kohls, and only found one quilt that I really liked. It was at Pottery Barn Kids. The only problem was that the quilt was lime/mint green, khaki, and navy. Problem: I wanted red in this quilt instead of green. Not to mention Pottery Barn, though I love their products, is terribly expensive for not always the best quality construction.

Enter Memaw...

Mom knew of my desire for striped quilts for the boys beds, and she enthusiastically volunteered to make them for me. I couldn't believe it! She said that it would take her a few months, but that she would make them from whatever fabric I chose.

So, I shopped!!!

I found a 30% off sale at Hancock fabrics, and purchased just enough material for the quilts. As mom and I began to cut the strips and lay out the pattern, however, we noticed that we were going to need more of the khaki colored material.

Now, you would think that finding khaki colored material would not be so difficult, but I had purchased Kona Cotton in the color oat. I had been assured by the sales associate and my grandma that Kona Cotton would hold up through multiple washings and bouncing boys. Shortly into my search for more oat colored Kona fabric, I realized that the color had been discontinued, and no store within 200 miles had any! I then checked E-bay, Amazon, and numerous other sites to see if I could purchase pieces of the material that we could make into strips. No one had any oat colored Kona Cotton!

You may be thinking, "Why didn't she just choose another color of khaki? I mean, really, khaki's khaki, right?" Well, I would have though so too except when I chose the color to paint the boys' bedroom, I used a swatch of the oat colored fabric to pick. I thought I was so smart to do so. I didn't have to worry about whether or not my wall khaki would be tinted more green or pink. I knew it would match their bedspreads, so I didn't care.

After my disappointing search, Mom and I took a swatch of the oat colored fabric to the store to see if we could find another color that was close to it. Honestly, I would have thought that it would be easy to find a fabric close, but those khaki tones are so different. While looking over the aisle of Kona Cottons, I finally noticed a toupe color that seemed reasonable. Mom pulled out our oat colored swatch to compare, and the two materials were an exact match! While having our fabric cut, I asked the sales associate about it, and she said that Kona does that often...simply changing the name of a fabric. I, apparently, had been asking all of the wrong questions. Regardless, I was very glad to have found what we needed!

Thursday afternoon, the boys and I went to see Memaw and Papa. Mom had awoke early that morning to put the final stitches on the quilts. It was truly a surprise to see that they were completed. They are just what I wanted! :) The boys were awfully proud of their new blankets as well, and it is not lost on them that their Memaw made them.

I called Mom today. Apparently, she has begun work on the matching shams. We were able to talk about their design while I was visiting. Like the quilts, these will be wonderfully handmade. I feel extremely blessed! Thanks, Mom!